How can I word this better?

As I am fascinated with how the human mind works, and how people interact. I would like to opurtuinty to study this formally. With more education i recieve i can contribute more effectively and intellectually to society. I can also model more educational achievements to my children which is a value of mine.How can I word this better?
I would like an opportunity to formally study how the human mind functions and how people interact. If I were to receive more education I could more effectively make intellectual contributions to society and use my academic achievements to become a role model for my children while emphasizing the importance of education.How can I word this better?
My fascination with how the human mind work and how people interact with each other motivated me to research on these formally. As I further my education, I came to realize that I can contribute more to society. I will be able to demonstrate the advantage of people with more educational achievements not only to everyone in general but most especially to my children who I value greatly.



p.s. hope this helps
yeah, NINE CRIMES hit it directly on target..that was awesome.. and um AVIOPHAGE, that was completely unnecessary.If you are such an angry person,take it to counselling,not yahoo answers,that was just wrong,deal with your issues somewhere else..this man just needed some help...
UGGGG, i don't understand my brain hurts, some one bring me a taco quick...
You need more help than you will find on yahoo answers. First, your grammar and sentence building skills need a TON of work as well as your spelling, (it's opportunity..... not opurtuinty). I have NO idea what you are seeking to find out. Maybe it's me.
I am sorry to say that your writing skills are inadequate to the kind of college courses you would need to take if you want to pursue formal study of psychology.



I recommend you start by contacting your local Community College to see about their course offerings in formal writing and business writing. Also, you should look into getting a private tutor to help you with grammar and spelling, as well as sentence sense and word usage.



After you spend a year or so on these topics, you should be closer to being ready for college level study.



By the way, most of the suggested wordings given by answerers above are just as awful as what you wrote to begin with. Don't trust the cranks that post answers on Yahoo!Answers to be right about anything!



Good luck.
First thing you need to do is check your spelling, capitalization and punctuation and proper word usage. What you have written here is a grammatical disaster and unless you make a more concerted effort I don't see why anyone would do your work for you.
I am fascinated by the human mind and human interaction; i hope to be able to formally study this area. With additional education, I can contribute more to society. I will also be able to show my children that I value education, for myself and for them.
I am fascinated with both the human mind and human interaction and would appreciate the opportunity to study these areas formally. I value education and believe the higher the level of education I achieve, the greater the chance I will have at effectively contributing to society. In addition, I believe that in my efforts to achieve a higher level of education, I will also be acting as a greater role model for my children - which is also very important to me.
Everybody responds to interaction with the life skills and experiences they have formed! Children are molded mostly in the early years by their parents whom they look up to and try to be accepted, loved by and most like. It is these skills and ways of interaction and perceptions they have been taught that helps them become who they become and interact the way they do. In interaction the most important lesson is, treat others as you woud like to be treated, and respect others, if they show disrespect they don't deserve interaction, unless debating arises.
I am very fascinated with how the human mind works and how people interact with one another. With more education I will be able to contribute more effectively and intellectually to society. Even more so my children look up to me and value me for my accomplishments.