How do I stop being too scared of hurting other people's feelings so I can interact normally with people?

I am way too nice to people, I think mainly because I grew up with lots of school kids and even some family either making fun of me for various things or just being plain mean and rude. I kind of decided I never wanted to make others feel the way I felt for so many years. I work heavily with the public every day now, and I find myself in situations where I need to have a backbone but end up letting people take advantage of me. I can't find that balance of being polite but firm when I need to be. I also feel anger towards myself for doing this and towards the people I allow to walk all over me. So I end up having a lot of built-up anger inside and my own life is suffering for it. Any useful advice would be appreciated. How do I stop being too scared of hurting other people's feelings so I can interact normally with people?
Why are you so conceited you think you have the power to make or break someone? So what if your rude to someone? Who are you to think you mean anything to them? Why do you think you have the power to make or break someone, why do feel you have the power to influence a complete stranger's life? Get over yourself, your not so special that you'll crush another's spirit. Your hardly a god type.How do I stop being too scared of hurting other people's feelings so I can interact normally with people?
I have the same problem, I was always the nice guy and got burned for it a lot, One day I decided to be an ****** and it worked out great. Since then I have reverted back to my old self and am happy about it. You should feel good about taking the high road, being nice and making the world a better place (there are not to many of us). If you can put a smile on one persons face a day you are better than most.Working in the service industry or customer service with the general public you have to let people walk all over you. Don't let it bother you. That's your job to take the blame. It sucks but you could always do something else where you don't have to interact with the general public(line cook, logistics,construction). You may also have (SAD) Social Anxiety Disorder. Look into it. If you still have problems see a psychologist, He/she will be able to find out why you are the way you are. I went to one once a week for a couple months, helped me out a bunch! Good Luck
Hmm. Don C ^^^ you are very mean. Plus that was a really random answer:)

Don't worry, I do the same thing! But I did learn a while ago to be firm. Built up anger will only lead to burning bridges. You can talk to someone, such as a close family member or friend. You can work on being firm with that family member/friend. Stand your ground:)

God bless
im a bit like this too. the fact is you cant please everyone or make everyone happy. its just the truth, you'd be stretching yourself way to thin, in a metaphorical way. if you feel ashamed or bad when letting yourself getting taken advantage of then do somthing. say no, or correct the person. being nice is one thing but you always need to have that firm backbone to fall back on while holding your values and life lessons close. you really need to do this for yourself. building up self esteem and a respect for yourself and establishing yourself as a ';solid' person who wont back down will make you feel much better. just take that first step, it doesnt have to be a big one take little ones. like lets say in your job someone is filling a form out and they hand it and walk away. you notice that they've forgotten to give your pen back. instead of just letting them walk out say somthing, ask to give it back. you can ask nicely but make your message clear of what you want. i hope this helps and that you build up and feel better as a person.self hate never got anyone anywhere.
Ultimately, this behavior is proving to be maladaptive. You need to realize your own strengths and weaknesses. To believe that you are ';mean or rude'; simply by showing another person your strength, shows that you are uncertain with your own personality. It sounds as if you aren't being assertive at all. Passive and sometimes passive/aggressive seems to fit better. You have to remember the person who matters most is you. Therefore, you sometimes have to be tougher on those around you because they want the same thing (what's best for them).

You know what it felt like to be teased and treated like less of a person, so I am confident that you can figure out what actions of yours could cause another to feel the same. Anger is as dangerous as stress. The longer you hold onto it, the more it will eat you alive.



I truly hope this helps, and most importantly that you work these issues out. It is definitely possible, and you are the only one who can work them out.

Best of luck ^-^