How can you truly trust people when so many people are just out for themselves?

I am a 25 year old Christian woman. I've been hurt a lot by most every person I've been close to. I've never had a supporting family and have had to learn ';the ways of the world'; the hard way at an early age, getting used and abused by jerks that prey on vulnerable people.





Sometimes I just like to be a alone because it is less scary that way and more predictable. What I usually do is keep people at bay and have mostly acquaintances, with a few close people. I prefer being alone. I'm not a hermit - at work and church I interact and people genuinely consider me nice. I get the feeling I should ';trust'; more, however, and my question is how do you trust people when there are so many selfish people in the world, some which are very malicious?How can you truly trust people when so many people are just out for themselves?
Nice question, really.





I know exactly what you're going through. I'm not exactly like you but similar situations.





It's hard, it's really freaking hard to trust people when everyone's done you wrong. But, the thing is, if you really want to have close relationships with people and truly feel the love and warmth close friendships and love can bring you've got to take the risk.





Keeping to yourself most of the time and taking the predictable route is a good way to end up regretting things and is an easy way out. Life is all about change and accepting change, you never want to stay the same person forever...you need to progress.





The only thing you have to do is understand and keep on going. So a couple or even a lot of people have maybe betrayed you, hurt you...not everyone will and these are just the cards you got dealt. Some people are lucky enough to have had great friends and family their whole life. You and I are not those people and we get bumped around a lot. It sucks so bad that it makes me emotional just saying these things but you've got to never give up. Don't accept things the way they are and don't count out everyone.





Learn from your mistakes. Why have you been burned by so many people? Maybe you're attracting yourself to the wrong types of people? Maybe you're like me and a get attached too fast so you end up getting burned easily. Figure out why you keep meeting bad people for you and try to change that. Then try to be more optimistic about people in general. Yes there are a lot of terrible selfish individuals out there but there are just as many who are not this way. They're not generally packed into one area so you're going to have to open yourself. If you see a similar path with the people you meet, going in a direction that seems like past relationships then back away slowly and try with some other people. You don't have to force it just go with your gut. With me I had to learn that not everyone can be your best friend or the best type of friend. Some friends are good for just some things. And not everyone you don't get along with or has hurt you is necessarily bad...just not a good match for you.





Try to see people in a positive light, don't let pessimism cloud your mind. No matter how much you want to tell yourself this is a ';realistic'; view on people, it's not it's just an opposite end of the spectrum. If you keep your outlook positive you're more likely to let is the positive as well.





Hope I helped, at least a little. I accept emails so if you want to talk anymore, or vent you can send me an email. Goodluck.How can you truly trust people when so many people are just out for themselves?
You cant trust anyone except yourself.Trust me ive learned the hardway many times.
I agree. I've lost the ability to trust anyone but myself. The people who are closest to you will hurt you the most.





That is why everyone is now an acquaintance to me.
if u want to know that how will u find the good people in this world...than from my logic it is very simple....


the persons who can not see u in trobles and sadness and try to make u happy always just belive them....bcoz true peoples only can not see when u r hurted or in trouble.
By getting to know someone, you can't find someone to trust if you don't allow yourself to try giving the benifit of the doubt for someone new you meet. You can always cut off the friendship/acquantance if you start to have feelings or reason in not trusting them.





I understand how you feel to a point, I have a hard time trusting most people myself, as people are selfish, too judgmental or even backstabbers. But... I have learned that I learn not to trust a person, by being around them and seeing how they act, what their demeanor is/shows and how they interact with others. Just simply observing can help. There are other people out there who are genuine.
well, first of all


I did the basic. first,


1.meeting each other


2.knowing each other


3.friends


4.best friend.


but those basic will be long as you think will be


Well i trust my best friend cause i gatherd trust in her


we became best friend after 5 month later.


So you will probably have to do all the steps. but


you have to be careful. my other best friend lied to me


and told everyone my secret.








cya
you cant trust anyone, no one is going to help you exept you, you can only trust yourself because that is the only person who won't cross you
Im 16 and ha i've delt with lots of people who i thought were my best friends but they broke my trust, time and time again. The truth is a lot of people in this world are selfish, and insensitive jerks basically. You shouldn't have to feel like you should have to trust people more. People should have to earn your trust. You seem like a pretty down to earth and good woman. Im Catholic and the only one i have to trust is my father and good pretty much. I mean i don't really know what to say but if you ever need a friend to talk to, and trust i'm here. Even though im younger than you i know exactally what its like to be hurt really bad by people you were close too and even though my family can seem supporting, they aren't always. But bottom line, if you ever need to vent, talk, or just say How's it going. Im here.
its true i am with you on this one easily....


people are out for themselves....


it is so sad.





you cant trust anyone, at times it seeems as if they are just trying to be nice toyou so they can slap you down betray you as if they et points for findingg a nice weak or vulnerable victim.





in truth i think they get points for whoever nut as theyare cowards they seeka nice vulnerable person to kick, someone already being kicked or still bruised from kicking..its sad how they convince themselves to commt such heinous crimes against the innocent, poor, vulnerable and weak...


i dont know what they tell themselves... personally i think theyare lookng for an exscuse or just glad to have one, working themselves up into all kinds of stink....
You have to interact with people, but my experience is that you shouldn't trust anybody, even if you know them well. People can change. People can go crazy. I've had that happen more than once or twice. My parents were people I could trust, but that's it. Other family members have let me down at the worst possible moment in the worst possible way--rudely. I have learned never to trust a friend, with one exception. He moved to Africa. I'm sixty years old, by the way. My parents and one friend were the only trustworthy people I ever met.
I think you guys are wrong not to trust people, and I'm shocked that you have had such bad experiences.





First, make sure that YOU are trustworthy. If you let people down, they will not think so hard about letting YOU down. ALSO make sure that you do not have unrealistically high expectations of others. You will always disappointed if you expect too much. Be realistic.





Then learn to trust in stages. Don't trust people you don't know that well immediately. See how they earn trust by not letting you down in small ways, then you will feel better about trusting them with bigger things.





I believe most people ARE kind, honest and trustworthy about most things.You just need to give them a chance.





However, unless you are VERY close, it IS prudent to be careful about trusting people with major things like money or personal secrets. I would never lend money to anyone unless I could afford not to get it back. That means you have to be happy to GIVE that money away. And as for personal secrets, I think they are best kept to yourself in almost all circumstances. People may reveal them to others not because they want to hurt you but just because they love to gossip.





I hope your opinions change and people don't let you down.
the only person you can trust with evrything is yourself


but


you can trust certain people with certain things- some with secrets, some with support, some with money advise, some with honesty etc. youve got to know people for what they are deep inside before you can really trust them. follow your gut and be careful. dont go telling your knew friend about your love life right away. tell her about something that ruined your day and see how she reacts, ask her to help you with something unimportant and see how generous she is. do things like that and start trusting people more but slowly. there isnt so much of a chance to get hurt with the litle things. the best place to start for you must be your church! talk to the churches leader about how you feel. pay attention to others core beliefs


good luck
You must learn how to read a person, before you get to know he's name. Look at his face, he's eyes, arms, nails, learn as much as you can, before you get to know him. Trust your intuition. If you haven't got the skill, go to a pub, a movie, restaurant and pick one person and try to observe him, look how other people interact with him, look at the visual details. It is an amazing skill, that I use at work and in my personal life, I know with who I want to make a friendship, and I never was disappointed by a friend or a girlfriend.
I have had my fair share of hurt and disappointments in people whom I've considered to be friends. One thing I have learnt over the years. it that no one is perfect. The moment you start to look for perfection and fulfilment in people you are setting yourself up for devastation.





I would disagree with you and the others who have said you cannot trust anyone. You have to be able to be trust and be vulnerable a little bit, or else you are going to find yourself friendless and ALONE.





I would never recommend being on an acquaintance level with everyone but as you said you prefer to be alone, so I guess it's working for you.





what I do is just weigh the pros and cons of having a particular individual in my life. If that imperfect person, brings more pros than cons to my life (an me to theirs) then I'll keep them around if not, then they have to go. Simple.