I don't wish to go too heavy on people. it's just that I'm going through a stage in my life where my care towards others, and care of life in general has been reduced significantly...And I'm not sure why.
2/3yrs ago during the summer period, my older brother died of cancer within six weeks... then a year later my nan died; but all of this happened whilst I was going through a difficult time with my family I lived with. Eventually last year I was the only one in my family to move to a childrens home; and that in itself was no walk in the park.
You are all probably wondering where this is leading to, but I want to know (by your opinions) why after these things happened, have I lost patience and care for people?
it's sometimes too much to take to think I'm mostly heartless.... I used to be loving inside, but now I don't care about anyone else, I just care about the immediate 'get it over and done with' attitude... What's wrong with me am i a bad person? what do you suggest?? xDo traumatic events (a.k.a abuse and death) reflect on how i interact, or understand people?
You're a good person stuck in a bad situation. And it sounds like you're reaching a turning point. Bad situations come and go. And you've had some really sucky ones.
Things happened that you had no control over. I'm sure you dealt with them as well as you could at the age you were. Now you are older and you are ready to deal with them a new way.
If you're in a children's home you may have access to a nurse, therapist, doctor, cleryperson, or social worker. If so, tell them what you have written here. Print it out and take it with you if you like.
Then ask that person to help you learn to cope in new ways. The coping skills may require doing something, thinking something, or even taking something. Or any combination of the above. Reach out to them like you did to us and your situation may improve.Do traumatic events (a.k.a abuse and death) reflect on how i interact, or understand people?
All events in our lives impact on our future interactions and understanding whether in a big or small (or even minimal or confirmatory) way.
If you have lost two family members in short order and moved home you have been exposed to a lot of upset and turmoil.
Being ';heartless'; and not being patient and caring with/for people is not necessarily being a bad person. However, it can of course seem heartless and uncaring. Now some people actually need that. Other people need TLC, love and attention.
The trap is in developing a ';one-size-fits-all'; approach to the world. This is not actually how the world works and every case should be considered on its merits.
I firmly believe that many people should ';get it over and done with';. This of itself is not a bad belief.
There are many situations where it is a good thing to cut and run early to minimise loss, or to take a stand to clarify issues.
There are yet other situations where it is a better thing to ';let sleeping dogs lie'; and to let things drag on (usually legal things). I think these situations are in the minority in my life. I'm not sure about other people.
to answer the question, maybe. You are not the only person who will see fewer and fewer people around. Just don't alienate the ones who are still here or you really will be lonely.
Yes, going through trauma, and devastation has an effect on you. These are enormous stresses and it can alter you permanently for the good, or for the worse. The good or worse is dependent on what you do with these events.
I'd suggest finding someone to talk with about these stresses in order that these events do not derail you but rather bring you to a place of rest and peace.
Listen to yourself: ';You (us, the people reading) are all probably wondering where this is leading to, but I want to know why after these things happened, have I (meaning YOU) lost patience and (think, believe or wish) care for people?';
You may be irritable, and you may be ';bossy'; or ';ill tempered';. But do not blame your dead brother. Some experiences as bad as they may be, usually give ';birth'; to better awareness and more spiritual endeavor.
Yes abuse and death can affect you in many ways, unfortantaly people do go through this, I am currently a subject of abuse, and I am running from it. At 18 I feel like I have a good idea of what I am going to do with my life and where I am going. Please know your not alone, you can email me and we can talk about things, maybe I can help you.
I think it's the lack of stability in your life which has made you think ';why bother, I can't hold onto anything I love.';
So I suggest using psychology to understand yourself, but not as an excuse. As you build more stability in your life (routine, job) and set goals which you can reach in small steps, I think you'll feel better about your life. I wouldn't worry about whether how you are feeling is ';right';--unless you are endangering yourself or others, there is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings. You feel the way you feel, and if you don't like it and can't change it on your own, get professional help to do so (they have ideas you might not have thought of).
Good luck.
You are not bad. this is how your coping mechanism is working and you need to get some professional advice. Everyone copes in a different way. Some just have a harder time dealing. For 10 years I rejected almost my entire family when my mom died. I didn't seek help and there was no one for me to turn to. So now I'm telling you seek help. Before it's too late.
Well i would say that you have been through a lot of really bad stuff, and now all you are trying to do is protect yourself from getting hurt anymore, that is a normal reaction to what you have been through, you r not heartless, you are just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt anymore. In time you will proably start to feel and care for people , like you use too, but right now you are trying to distane yourself, and that may be good for a while, then you can heal, and work out all of these issues, without having to deal with other ones, cause right now i think that you really need to work out yourissues, that you are going through, and have been through. Then work on getting back to people, and caring again. You know that the care bear movies are really good for feelings, and teaching people about feelings. I do sugguest that people watch them cause of that'
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