Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What can i do to be more positive and have more confidence?

My life sux...i dont have the simple things in life and never had them...i feel like quitting...i feel like a failure...im writing exams and can concentrate because of these thoughts



left counsellin because it wasnt working



Been through abuse



dont know how to interact with people...social disorderWhat can i do to be more positive and have more confidence?
been there done that.i had house, wife, kids, good paying job and now all i have is a pickup and some clothes.I'm in a rut and cant seem to get out of it also.people say give it time and things will work out .its been months.i call it in limbo.councelers say don't give up keep trying,but how long?i don't think its entirely up to one person alone when your in a spot like this.you need a break in life.What can i do to be more positive and have more confidence?
Take a speech class and it will improve Your positivity and confidence.OK SWEETIE?
u r living! u r goin to a skool! if u could give me ur e-mail address i'll send u a mail,a forwaded one-it willl help.
It's all about mind set. So you've been psychologically bruised, dwell on it, think it out. The more you analyze, the more you distance. The trick of it is not walling yourself up. Interacting with people is always difficult, no matter what you've been through. I'd love to talk to you more. Email me at sacrilegebeautas@yahoo.com. Whatever you do, don't quit.
You've been through abuse. No mum, no guy. There are tons of people like you out there but I don't think all of them are as too far in as you are. First, the world doesn't stop for your grief. It may be hard to move on but it is something you just have to do. Worse things happened to other people but if everyone would sulk and throw a pity party all their life, good luck with the world. Start small, don't stop hanging out with friends I am sure you have them even if not in great numbers. Hang out with people you have in your life. Spend time with them, that would help you in appreciating whatever you have instead of focusing on what you don't. You would never cure that social disorder unless you try being more sociable and making yourself available to meet more friends and hopefully one day a significant other. And accept that all things are temporary. There is no guarantee. That way you would learn to appreciate the present and accept things easier when they leave.
I suggest trying this little exercise. What have you got to lose?



Start of list of reasons why your life sux. Write every single thing that comes to mind. Don't force it, let it all come.



After the list is written. Check to see how you are feeling. Kind of rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.



Then start with the first thing on the list and make it an opposite statement. For example:



I hate my hair.

to

My hair is soft and shiny.



or



I want to die

to

I am alive



I have no friends

to

I am a good friend



see? when you take what's bothering you and change it into a positive statement, you boost your natural wellbeing.



It worked for me. I was gang-raped at 12, abandoned by my family at 13, spent the next seven years being beaten by my boyfriend until I escaped at 19. That was just chapter 1.



Try the list and let me know how you are feeling on a scale of 1 to 10 afterward.



Blessed be.
If you have been through abuse, this is often very hard to get past for some people. You can try contacting a domestic violence shelter in your area and get counseling through them since sometimes counseling doesn't work if they are counseling you for one thing and you need it for something else.

For your concentration on the exams, go to a health food store and get some DMAE, a natural substance found in fish which improves concentration and memory and it has no side effects at all, other than giving you better grades.

As for being positive, try reading positive things, for a start. I will give you a link to As a man thinketh and that will be a good start.

Just take everything one step at a time and do things to build up your confidence and your ability to react with other people will improve because of a new self image. Take up bowling perhaps, for example, or join a gym and work out there.

One last thing, make sure you are taking a good general vitamin because some of your feeling may simply be that your body is run down.

Perhaps the fact that you have been through abuse account for everything else that you feel and by getting past that everything else will improve as well so the counseling will help if you find the right counselor and perhaps the domestic violence group can help you with that.

Good luck to you and remember there are many of us out here who care for you and want to see you get past this point in your life!!

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